Is there ***PORN*** on your computer??
Well, actually, now that you ask me, NO, there’s no fucking porn on my computer, OKAY? And if there was, I’d have put it there. And if I had put it there, I guess I’d know about it, and presumably would want it there.
This is one of those pop-up/pop-under ads I just fail to get.
I should think most people who had porno on their computer would know they had it. They’d probably have some bookmarks with names like “DirtyCollegeGirlsXXX” and a file folder or two entitled “titty_pics” or “B&D_S&M” I mean, porno doesn’t spontaneously generate from the electrons of the World Wide Web any more than maggots spontaneously generate from rotton meat. AFAIK, a computer can’t “catch” porn, like a case of the chickenpox, and there’s no Magic Playboy Bunny who comes bouncing along in the night, hiding chocolate-covered naughtiness for all the deserving pervos out there.
Of all the worthy things I could worry about, porno meeting with the crampy environs of my hard-drive doesn’t even make the Top 200 Useless Things To Fret About list.
Perhaps this ad is aimed at parents who don’t trust their kids not to download and save photos of the Internet’s kinkiest. To which I say, “huh, if they’re old enough to seek it out, they’re old enough to handle it.” I expect running across saved “Wild Redhead of the Month” pics on your harddrive ranks with finding a stash of Penthouse when putting away your 15-year-old’s socks (lame, nosey-mom slang for snooping in kid’s room for porno mags) I mean, yeah, it has got to be squicky to know your kid’s beating the meat, but you know, everyone *does* it anyway. It’s not like there’s anything bad about getting off, and you have the reassurance that if your kid’s playing with himself (or herself, let’s be equal opportunist masturbation-acceptance advocates, here) than they’re less likely to be out getting into trouble with their genitalia.
Anyway, I say this–any kid dumb enough to save porno on his/her parents’ computer and not erase the bookmarks and clear out the cache and address bar is basically begging to have his/her embarrased parents confront him/her about wasting hard-drive space.