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On being a butthole:

Cycling advocacy wonks like to call it “taking the lane.”

I call it “riding in the fuck-you-position.” Also, “cockblocking.”

As in, “that meatus in the Lexus who acted he like was going to run me over in the intersection was pretty pissed when I pulled into the ‘fuck you position’ and cock-blocked him for about a quarter of a mile.”

Most of the time, I gutterbunny it. I hardly ever “take the lane,” ‘cept when it’s clearly and egregiously unsafe if someone tries to squeak past me…or if I really need to piss somebody off. I hardly EVER have people fuck with me, no matter where I ride. I can go weeks and weeks and weeks without even a “stay on the sidewalk” or a too-close pass. I get a little more hassle on Friday nights, especially in the summer, but on the whole, I have a hard time really buying all of the supposed hate that these guys seem to experience. Maybe all that hi-viz yellow is to motorists what red is to bulls.

I generally try not to gratuitously be a dick when I’m out and about on the road anyway. I don’t want to be remembered as that asshole on the bike. Kansas City is a pretty small world and I’d hate like hell to have one act of petty passive aggression (cockblock) be my undoing!

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