Meetzorp

I have been as a ravening shrew lately. Okay, so I don’t literally eat more than my weight in food every day, but damn, I have been just a bottomless pit. I guess my metabolism is getting a little hyper from my regular bike-commute, or maybe it is all the coffee I have been drinking, which makes me Cornholio-style hyper, but anyway, I’ve had a pretty big, consistent, and insistent lately. I packed and brought a lunch, but I ate it before my lunch break. I went outside for a walk during my wee lunch break, and broke down and bought a sandwich at Subway. Frankly, I hate Subway—it always smells like rotten mayonnaise in there, and they are SO stingy with the condiments. Being as I am a vegetarian, that is all I am getting, for fuck’s sake. I practically had to bribe the sandwich dude to give me two types of cheese, and their idea of “extra olives” entails three measly olive slices. Anyway, I ate my lousy sandwich and I am now emitting onion fumes and am going to go purloin a handful of mints from Derrick.