I guess if you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror in the work restroom and think, “who the fuck is that douchebag?” you’ve probably pretty much failed your fashion check for the day.
I realized about midway through the day today that I dressed like a complete asshole and felt sheepish for the rest of the day. I’ve been doing pretty well with the whole not-dressing-like-a-dipshit thing for quite a few years now and so I was totally chagrined to catch myself slipping so badly.
I’m not sure that any one element of my outfit really sank the failboat…it was just an un-fortuitous combination of garments that taken separately and mixed with other things are all innocuous enough, but brought together, really made me look like a twee, aging hipster who really ought to know better.
It wasn’t just the black American Apparel skinny tee with the Victorian cyclist lady screen printed on the front. It wasn’t the hot-pink flowered a-line skirt with the gros-grain ribbon belt. It wasn’t the quasi-fishnet stockings, or the mary-jane shoes. It wasn’t my semi-librarian-ish glasses, nor the pigtails, nor indeed the silver nail polish. It was all of that brought together that basically said, “old, out-of-it dweeb tryin’ to rock it at an all-ages show” which isn’t really appropriate for work…or anywhere else I might ever find myself.
I don’t have any explanation or excuses. For reasons I cannot adequately articulate, I thought last night that the above would be a really great outfit. It wasn’t. I felt like a jackass for about 60% of the day, and I am going to be making a note to NEVER WEAR THAT SHIT ALL TOGETHER EVER, EVER, EVER AGAIN, EVER!
What the fuck, self?
I have been there. In fact, I am there right now. I recently bought a pink and gray tunic thingee, and the lady in the store said it would look good with leggings. I bought leggings. I am wearing leggings, and said tunic. This ensemble might look cute on a thin 14 year old. It looks really stupid on me.
Were ya happy before you looked in the mirror? If so, don’t worry about it. My clothes aren’t stained, don’t have holes, and don’t smell. That’s about all I care about.