4:45 a.m.: scritch scritch Awake to Griswald scratching at the box-springs.
bat ineffectually at horrible cat
4:55 a.m.: scritch scritch Awake to Griswald scratching at the box-springs.
bat ineffectually at horrible cat
5:00 a.m.: scritch scritch Awake to Griswald scratching at the box-springs.
Grudgingly leave comfort of warm bed to chase fucking cat out of the room.
5:05 a.m.: scritch scritch Awake to Minnie scratching at the box-springs.
bat ineffectually at other horrible cat
5:15 a.m.: scritch scritch Awake to Minnie scratching at the box-springs.
Grudgingly leave comfort of warm bed, chase other goddamn fucking cat around room. Eventually extract her from beneath bed, desk, or pile of snowboots behind door. Throw horrible cat out of bedroom.
5:15–6:00 a.m.: scritch scritch yowl mrrrrowlll yowl scritch-scritch At some point in this 45-minute display of FEED ME RIGHT FUCKING NOW YOU LAZY DREADFUL WOMAN being performed on the opposite side of the bedroom door, I will throw a Croc at the door, scattering cats on the other side and buying myself 10-20 minutes of un-interrupted “sleeping.”
So, note to people who do not have cats and think that they would like some:
You won’t.
It helps that we’re feeding George-o more now than we used to, but there are still more nocturnal interruptions than are necessary. I’m so sorry. Can you kennel them in your concrete bunker with litter box and water at night?
put the animals outside