Well…why not? We have National Talk Like A Pirate Day on September 19th and we have National Headache Week (thank you Brownielocks!) so why not a National Whacking People Day. I'd like to make it National Whacking Annoying People Day, but most annoying people probably honestly don't know they're a pain in the ass. The jury is still out on whether or not this is a valid excuse.
Anyway, I am simply peevish today and damn near everything is twanging on my wee little nerves. I am just top full with the curdled, chunky milk of human loathing. Bear with me, if you can.
I think I shall vent my spleen at a very special redneck I encountered on my way home. Bubba, if you's literate an' you recognise yourself here, then Fear This, dickfaced lad.
To you, the cretinous, testosterone-poisoned inbreeder in the gigantic Chevy extended-cab 3/4 ton pickup who had to bear with the indignity of giving right of way to a *girl* on a bicycle, may I respectfully say, “suck it.”
Demonstrating your outrage by blasting past me with your engine revved to redline and your tires squealing is such an excellent way to make me feel for your vast, untimely inconvenience caused by having to wait for me to get through the intersection. Never you mind that I had the green light, and that if you'd gotten off your ass beforehand anyhow, you could have got past me and out of my way, rather than pulling half through the intersection and blocking up the lane I was in, like the passive-aggressive dipshit you are.