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Category Archive for 'Well I’ll Be Darned'

I dreamed I helped put together a robot for picking up trash (like WallE kind of), but basically it mostly just masturbated a lot. When it climaxed, it shot springs out. Make of that what you will.

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About five years ago, I got an IUD. Because of my particular anatomy, plus also because I have never had a baby, getting the little plastic gizzie installed was a complete ordeal. I was stretched on the traditional, Medieval gynaecological rack, with three or four med students peeking in on the proceedings, and witnessing a […]

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(the bathroom is still a work in progress, so please don’t judge the crummy floor, the cheezy plastic tile on the wall, or my hair-and-makeup box on a cinder block) I had no idea Jacuzzi was a brand. I thought it was like the technical term for a deep, fizzy bathtub. Apparently, they make everything […]

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Man, there are times that being a seamstress kicks ass. Not so much when you put a sleeve in a jacket upside down or get finagled into doing a shit-ton of alterations for no money, but when you get about $200 worth of performance gear for about $40, it fucking rules. So, there’s this fancy-schmancy […]

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I got this phone in February of 2006. It was pretty awesome, so I stuck a couple of foil daisy stickers on it to make it awesomer. They didn’t stay very well, but they were cute while they lasted. I got this phone from a shady discount-cellular-and-tobacco store on East Truman Road, about a block […]

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Juniper Berry sachet, a photo by Meetzorp on Flickr. While running the dog, I found a bunch of windfall juniper berries today, so I completely filled my jacket pockets and made several juniper-berry sachets. I put this one in my lingerie drawer, ’cause delicates that smell of G&T are never the wrong answer.

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Facebook. Freakin’ Facebook. It’s a love/hate website, that’s for sure. It’s fun to keep up with your friends, see your old schoolmates’ babies, check out your co-workers Spotify picks, hand out party invites, RSVP to same…it’s a daily ritual that many of us enjoy. Mostly. But Facebook has a habit of inventing new ways to […]

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Seriously not safe for work. This post features content of a dirty, big rubber penis I found alongside of the road. I hope you consider this fair warning.

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Guess what I saw on Wednesday? Holy crap! A robin! Dude, some more of them! No kiddin’! January the 18th and the holly trees* outside the building I work in were teeming with robins. There had to be a good 15-18 of them circulating around. Now either these little dudes are crazy-go-nuts vanguards, or else […]

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I did such a huge double-take on my way to work this morning that it actually involved flipping a Huey and going back for a second look. I passed a house that I’ve probably ridden past fifty times. It’s a pretty basic early 20th Century foursquare, with a rough-cut native limestone first floor and a […]

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